?

Log in

No account? Create an account
Recent Entries Friends Archive Profile Tags Getting Healthy - my other blog
 
 
 
 
 
 
I was looking at pictures of me and Kevin from our wedding because the longer I looked at our SimSelves, the less I thought they looked like us. The nose on mine was way out of proportion to the rest of the face, and Kevin's seemed to have daggers for cheek bones, and I couldn't figure out why they looked so off.

Normally when I make my SimSelf I look in a mirror next to the screen, but this was middle of the night (I appear to be in no sleep mode again) and even with lights on the mirror is doesn't really work well, so I was using the wedding album, besides, Kevin was asleep, would have been mean to try and make his SimSelf with the lights in the bedroom while he slept. I was thinking to myself that I do actually like the way I look, at least, I like the way I look in these pictures, and other than some very light foundation, I am not wearing any more makeup than I normally do and my hair is close to how it usually was before my medical problems got to the point of disabling. And then I was confused because I haven't thought I looked pretty for a while and so I looked in the mirror and realized, I don't even recognize myself. I couldn't even recognize myself when I held the picture up next to my face in the mirror to see that they are the same.

What I think has made the biggest difference is that I now have somewhere around an inch to maybe two inches of hair length and all of my hair is the same length; it used to be a couple of feet long. We had to buzz my hair down because it was causing me massive scalp pain, couldn't even lay my head down on a pillow. It is already gotten to the point where running my fingers through it makes me want to throw-up at the length it currently is. I may not be able to get it to the length I once had it (scalp pain on top of migraine pain is maddening) but I am hoping that if it is a little longer, if I can learn to tolerate the nausea and stop touching my hair, maybe I will feel a little more like myself. Maybe I could start to recognize myself in the mirror again. Only way to find out is to try.
 
 
 
 
 
 
Sorry, another comment from me. I hope that you manage to stop touching your hair and grow it again to a length that you feel happy with.

I also get pain in the roots of my hair at times. An awful feeling. I don't get it as bad as you and I really sympathise. My hair is long. When I get the root pain, I don't wash my hair unless I have no alternative. I also never tie my hair back, just leave it loose. Fortunately, my hair pain always seems to be in a particular place on my head and it doesn't happen that often, there can normally be months between attacks.

Good luck with your try to grow your hair but if it doesn't work, then don't despair, embrace the new you with your sweet touselled short hair style. It's still you and I bet that your Kevin thinks you're just as cute as the day you two met.
I like comments, so you never have to say sorry about posting lots of them in one day :-)

I am still battling the urge to touch my hair, it is just something I have always done and never had a problem with until last year. When it first started, after three months of thinking I would never sleep again unless too tired for even pain to keep me awake we cut it, not quite as short as it is now, but still really short and for the first 48 hours my scalp flared up in pain even more than what it was doing with the long hair, then we buzzed it down and the pain finally let up.

Fortunately Kevin grew up thinking Annie Lennox is hot in the Sweet Dreams video so me having almost no hair is not a big deal to him at all. I guess for me my hair has always been my favorite feature of my looks because it is the one thing you don't have to worry about needing to loose weight for or exercise, it just looks good as is. So not having that which has always been my favorite thing about me is kinds of hard.

I know we will eventually get this figured out and solved, but for now, I just want to find a length I can tolerate pain wise and makes me feel a little better about how I look.