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Journal has been deleted. If you are medleymisty, you have a period of 30 days to decide to undelete your journal.

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Journal has been deleted. If you are thethingitself, you have a period of 30 days to decide to undelete your journal.


This blog is protected, to view it you must log in. <- Where In The Valley of The Sun story was maintained.

What happened?  I know there were some mean SimSecrets about medlemisty's story and in the most recent one someone seemed to attack her directly in entry 009.  I didn't generally read comments on her blogs and I only commented once on thethingitself, but I tried to be respectful in my reply to something I didn't agree with because my world view is different from hers.  I didn't attack her view, I just explained how my experience was different from hers and why I felt the Sims community came from a larger economic base than she thought it did.  

I do not think the people who I have on my friends list and are most likely to see this would be the cause of whatever made her decide to leave and I may still make a secret about this just to bring the issue public because I don't think what some people are doing is acceptable behavior. Yes we may be online, yes, you most likely will never meet these people face to face, and yes, you will most likely never be held responsible for your action, but those actions still have consequences and can hurt someone's feelings enough to make that person withdraw from the community they may have initially felt accepted by. I am not saying you have to agree with everything everyone say, but if the only way you feel you can respond to someone is by calling them batshit then it would be best if you just didn't say anything at all to that person, just move on and let it be.

I know I have been lucky in not getting any negative comments on my stories, or at least nothing to the level that I would feel offended by, and I understand people wanting to vent their feeling about something, but please, find some way of expressing yourself with a little more respect. I have tried to state this as respectfully as I can and I have vented some of my frustration with this issue to my husband because I regularly talk to him about The Sims community and normally I have nothing but good things to tell him, but this, this made me upset. I am just sorry I didn't say anything sooner, before she felt she had to leave.
 
 
 
 
 
 
hmmm... I have no idea what this is about...
I assume that's a good thing.
Yes, I would say that is a good thing. I have been reading the thread at SimSecrets where the secret maker talks about their thoughts on this and while they know that the journals have now been deleted, they seem to think more that they hope medleymisty learned an internet lessen than that maybe they went too far.

It appears that the main issue was not her story but how she presented herself to others online. While I take most things people say about others or themselves online with a grain of salt, apparently not everyone does and some people decided she thought too highly of herself for reasons they did not think were justified. We will most likely never know medleymisty's side of the story, but I still think that the people who write these kinds of secrets need to think before they say something.
I've sent medley a message on my thoughts on what happened. I won't say exactly what I said to her or what she said back, but I did at the very least get her side of the story. What she told we was that it really wasn't the cruel secrets that the already anonymous anonymous heathens secrets and hateful/hurtful words that caused medley to act the way she did. Rather it was the actions of a single close friend of hers that caused her to withdraw.

It also seems that the message I sent her is giving her enough strength to come back.
I am glad to here she is coming back. I also sent her a message last night after posting this just to make sure she is okay since I have seen people withdraw online and in real life once something like bullying occurs. She did reply and seemed to appreciate that people were concerned.

While I am glad to know it was not a SimSecret that caused her to withdraw, I still think those things can be very hurtful and I do wonder if any of the secret makers that seem to revel in the hate secrets ever consider what they are doing.
(Deleted comment)
(Apoligies to iliveforsleep; I deleted my first comment as I didn't see BBP's comment before I wrote it)

I am very glad to hear you've been in touch with Misty, and I am glad that it's not SimSecret which made her withdraw. I hope she does indeed get the strength to return.

And to iliveforsleep, thank you for bringing this to my/our attention.
I am just happy to see the response from those who saw the post already (I wasn't expecting this many comments at all, not to mention in less than 24 hours) so I am glad to see that other people were concerned enough to say something.
I noticed she vanished too, and it was a pity because I really liked the story (regardless all the bs around it), but personally, after a while being around this community, I tend to avoid drama as possible, so usually don't get too involved.

One thing I try to keep in mind is that most of the people making hate secrets are kids, just kids most probably under the age of 15, and the most immature kind of kids too (because I've also meet amazingly mature/centered teenagers around here as well). There's no FUN in respect and behavior/manners for them, and certainly keeping the bad opinions for themselves must be extremely BORING in their pov.

As for Misty, I do hope she comes back, but of course is up to her. Its cruel and sad to say so, but you (general you) do need to keep a shields up to survive around here, specially when you get popular O_o (it's even sadder to read that seemed to be a problem with a friend, tho)
I tend to avoid drama as possible, so usually don't get too involved.

I am usually not one to get into the online drama was well because I know it does nothing but go downhill and no one ever wins really. While we know now that it was not the SimSecrets that caused the withdrawal and instead was one specific person, I still feel that the point in the post is a valid one.

One thing I try to keep in mind is that most of the people making hate secrets are kids, just kids most probably under the age of 15, and the most immature kind of kids too (because I've also meet amazingly mature/centered teenagers around here as well). There's no FUN in respect and behavior/manners for them, and certainly keeping the bad opinions for themselves must be extremely BORING in their pov.

This is one of the reasons I spend so little time on The Sims 2 BBS now, I used to live there, but it got ridiculous with all of the petty arguments that started. I have always been considered mature for my age in my behavior and I have always gotten along better with adults even when I was a child so I guess in my world view I do not understand the joy in trying to torment someone specifically for the purposes of fun. I have seen some teenagers and under who have been jerks for lack of a better word and I have even seen at least one of them seem to turn around and while not a saint, at least seems to think more before speaking and does not have the knee-jerk reaction to every post that the users do not agree with.

As for Misty, I do hope she comes back, but of course is up to her. Its cruel and sad to say so, but you (general you) do need to keep a shields up to survive around here, specially when you get popular O_o (it's even sadder to read that seemed to be a problem with a friend, tho)

I do agree that you need to keep a shield up to survive, anywhere really, but especially online. I have always been one to state what I think without regard for what others may also think on the matter and I am amazed it has not gotten me in more trouble because I have not been afraid to say things to someone's face (in real life) in regards to what I thought about them. I try to back up anything I say with facts/information that lead me to my opinion, but I know that it is just my opinion and not everyone is going to share it no matter how much I explain it. I also avoid making comments on other peoples journals that just sound like they are begging for a reply (which I have seen many do here, baiting people into an argument) because I know it is just not worth the effort. From this there are certain types of stories I just don't reply to no matter how much my head is screaming something is wrong/pointless in the storytelling of the author.

I think since her withdrawal was because of a friend and not the SimSecrets I will not make the one I have had floating in my head half the night, but I do hope that maybe someone saw them, and then saw that she left, and thought, you know, maybe we did take it just a little too far. I know that may be hoping for an amazing amount of maturing in one night on the part of one of the live journal users, but I will continue to be optimistic that someone learned something from this.
I know that may be hoping for an amazing amount of maturing in one night on the part of one of the live journal users, but I will continue to be optimistic that someone learned something from this.

Well, to be fair, is not only LJ user. Most of those hate secrets (again, not only about Misty, but in general) come from forums users/drama as well (and actually lately seem to be most of them).

And unfortunately I'd dare to say (hoping to be wrong) that the only thing these secret makers learned from this is either
a- We WIN
or
b- lame! she's gone, now we need someone else to pick on
nd unfortunately I'd dare to say (hoping to be wrong) that the only thing these secret makers learned from this is either
a- We WIN
or
b- lame! she's gone, now we need someone else to pick on


Sadly, you are probably correct on this.
I hadn't thought of the younger crowd simply acting out in the only way they think is possible via being cruel for no reason.

I had envisioned the secrets being made simply due to persons being jealous/envious of medley's talent. However, due mostly in part of their already pre-built reputation, they saw that making their scornful opinions more public would cause embarassment or other negative feelings and thus stuck to simple anonymous cruelty. It's just crazy. Granted, I'm sure some people may have hinted at their true self, but even still, the internet is already giving them a mask yet the insist on hiding even that mask with another more ambiguous and crueler one. Heaven forbid if we all found out that the person(s) creating these things turned out to be people who publicly act as the nicest and most helpful members of our community.

That's just what comes to my mind.
That's probably the case in some cases too (and not talking only about Misty, but in general), but I tend to think that older people don't act like that so much. (or maybe I just want to think so, lol, it'd be pitiful to see a 20+ year old making a hate secret, imo)
you'd be suprised.. i'm part of second life (which is 18 and over only) and there's a whole sl secrets thing every sunday that is constantly hate secrets.. and the people writing them are mostly in their late 20's or older... crappy people are crappy despite age...
i was really sad to see this too.. i thought her story was amazing and i never understood why people picked on it so much. all the bullcrap about her being obsessed with her character seth. apparently those people have never written a story.. any time i have written a story that i have been completely smitten with, a character always grows on me and i love them as if they were real and alive... so i identify with her there. i hope she comes back, her story was great and i really think it has the potential to be a real book.
I think you have made a good point about how characters can grow on an author until you almost love them. I have some characters I thought I would be obsessed with because they represent musicians I find attractive, but for some reason, they have not grown on me yet which I think is why I am still having a harder time with their story line. Then there is my Sims 2 Legacy founder my husband made for me and I have spent way to much time with him as far as most legacy founders would go but it is because I love what he represents so much I don't think I want to let him go, I am not ready to move on to his child. Then there is my husband's SimSelf, who despite some of the less than perfect traits has become the most wonderful loving Sim in game and I just adore watching him.

I also think her writing was really good and while all authors, even published ones, have room to improve, I think she was aware of that and was willing to learn and work on it. I think she will probably come back, it was stated in one of the comments above she said she would, but I think it will take a little time because whatever was specifically said to her that made her leave will take some time to get over.

Thank you for commenting.